Poor Raven
by Daniel Cheshire
Summary: A series of drabbles, most of which involve implications that are deserving of an M rating, and the scarring of any sense of innocence that Raven might've had before meeting me.
1. Blanket

**A/n**: HELLO ALL YOU _**BEARERS**_ OF GENITALS, **HUMAN OR NOT**. I just can't like bring myself to write any of that fluffy lovey dovey 2348938409830980349584 word long epic love story things right now. Blocks, right? Enjoy these somewhat 'plotful' drabbles that somehow end up relating to each other. How? I don't know, enlighten me.

i.

'Hey, Rob,' Beast Boy reached next to him to fiddle with a particularly interesting blade of grass, 'Do you think there really is something over the rainbow?'

Robin deadpanned through his mask, a look that would be worthy of making Jay Leno nervous,'I think you've been listening to too much Judy Garland.'

Beast Boy returned the look, to a lesser degree before sharply replying.

'I'm not the one who sings along to that demented wheel_cher_-'

'Cher, and she's not demented. Just special.'

'She's crazy and you know it.'

'At least now you know where i get it from.'

Robin rolled over to pin Beast Boy down to the grass, bringing his face tantalizingly close to the latter's. He grinned before bringing his mouth against Beast Boy's.

They broke apart after some time, allowing sweet air to be let in.

How Robin hated being an air breather sometimes.

'Do you think Raven would mind us using her giant magic carpet as a picnic blanket?'

Robin thought for a moment, judging whether to continue what he had planned to do today and risk the wrath of Raven, or not do it and walk home like an injured walrus. Walruses didn't seem too attractive.

'Nah, I'm sure it'll wash out.'

'Wait… What'll wash- Nngh~'

**A/n**: Eh. Not as bad asI t**hought **it would've turned out.


	2. Catfish

**A/n: **words. that is all

Robin had the worst idea at the most inconvenient times. He was sure his back would be in a world of pain in the morning.

Beast Boy let out a soft snore, his hips adjusting ever so slightly, making Robin squirm in discomfort.

He wondered if Raven is still mad at him for staining her bedsheets and will come to help him with his problem. He did give her brownies to_ try_ to console her... after he and Beast Boy did it in the kitchen... and she walked in on it.

Raven wasn't going to help.

Maybe Starfire. After all, the Tamaranian wasn't too familiar with Earth customs.

Robin reached for his communicator, only to be held back a thick rope that hung around both wrists.

'Catfish God dammit.'

**A/n: **Where had the time gone? Oh, right. .. PLAYING SKYRIM OBSESSIVELY. (i lied. there were more words.)


	3. Dalph Mongrel

A/n: Screaming at batter for mugging a milk carton while making references. What.

'Nnngh- You're beating it too fast~!'

'But it's almost there! Just a bit more.'

'Scum doesn't deserve mercy! It HAS to be beaten senseless!'

The mix of butter, chocolate powder and eggs looked like a baker's wet dream, signalling that it was free of any lumps of brownie mix, but that didn't stop Robin from being thoroughly sure, mixing it furiously, sweat collecting at his brow, Beast Boy lay across the counter, long given up on trying to get the raven haired boy to stop beating the life out of that poor storebought brownie batter.

'Yea, bet you're nice and all blended together… NOW TELL ME WHO YOUR LEADER IS OR I WILL BREAK YOU.' Robin's demeanor went from Cooking Mama to Dalph Mongrel in a instant as he leaned into the bowl of brown pudding-like mix.

'When I said take a break from mugging muggers, I didn't mean interrogate the food, yo.' Ignored, Beast Boy didn't see what was so fun about interrogating muggers where they're hiding purses, or in this case, brownie batter where the crime lord of the kitchen is hidden. He had other things in mind. Like the way one of Raven's many foreign bibles lay perfectly bisected right next to the Semi-Homemade cookbook…. Or the tantalizing way Robin swayed his hips as he went 'Eye-to-Eye' with the criminal scum of the Kitchen… Batman really rubbed off on this kid.

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH, ROCKY?'

In a flash, the black-haired teen rounded on Beast Boy, pinning his hands and body to the counter.

'I must break you.'

Robin had also seen too many Sylvester Stallone movies.


	4. Bed

**A/n:**

**AC: :33 *yawns and stretches furrom a lazy nap* Imagine that the Titans don't have their usual battle regalia on. *paws around and goes back to sleep***

' I _really_ think breaking into Raven's room to poke around isn't a smart idea...'

Robin's nerves were edgy, he was sure there was a _thing_ in the corner of the room. The various candles and mirrors in the dark room were quite menacing. How the hell did Raven get any sleep with all the skulls?

'Oh, shut up. _Scared_ a demon'll getcha? For the ex-Boy Wonder, you sure are a marvel.'

(Somewhere in the world, Martin Goodman rolled in his grave.) Beast Boy poked at a musty tome that was floating over a candle, surprisingly not catching fire.

'- think that they'll be in my room, right? I mean I already caught them in the basement, the T-Car, the Couch, Training Rooms, plural, and in the bathroom, multiple times.'

'It would not be wise of either of them to continue to explore each other in such an odd manner in the odd places.'

'Eh… You're right. At least Robin might be smart enough-'

Robin heard Starfire and Raven's voices near the entrance to the latter's room.

He _needed_ to hide or risk getting obliterated by Raven.

'Yo, check thi-', Beast Boy was about to pick up a skull of some kind of alien-slug-phallus-thing when Robin slammed his hand over his mouth and dove into Raven's bed, nearly strangling him in a deathgrip. They both sank in a pit purplish-black polyester and cotton.

Robin heard the door sliding open, the slight hiss of it locking behind whoever floated in. Oh, god. If she decided to lay down instead of abusing her powers to float over her bed, they're more than likely going to be the victims of the newest NCIS episode.

Beast Boy ground his body against Robin while licking at the fingers at his mouth.

'Mmph-'

Robin had to stifle a squeal, Beast Boy wasn't going to make averting disaster much easier, unless-

Beast Boy's hands had reached up and wrenched Robin's hand off of his mouth, giving him the freedom to turn his entire comfortably towards him.

He ground his hips harder against Robin as the light turned negative.

Raven had them suspended in the air, her eyes taking a menacing red tinge, the shadows under her were swirling.

'Azarath-', Robin began to steel himself for the cold emptiness of space when Beast Boy interrupted her incantation.

'Why do you have a dildo disguised as a skull?'

Raven lost her concentration, turned a shade of red that rivaled Starfire's hair, and magicked them out of her room through a wall.

**A/n: **

**AG: 8ad. 8ad. 8aaaaaaaad. this t8k way l8nger than I w8uld like it t8. ::::(**


End file.
